Handbill Handout

60-ish, cloudy, drizzle, supposed to get up to the low 70s later today. Remember that new computer I was talking about yesterday?  Of course you do.  Well anyway, one of the security protocols here at the office is that every computer has a PIN that you have to type in before you even get to the legal screen that basically says "surrender all privacy right ye who enter here" followed by the network login screen.  On my prior machine I was able to choose my own PIN but on this one the PIN is an abbreviation for the company (not one used publicly) followed by your employee ID number that you were assigned upon hiring followed again by the company abbreviation.  I took exactly one psychology course in college so I'm far from an expert but boy howdy, the message that they own my ass comes through loud and clear, doesn't it?

Around 60 with mixed sun and clouds. I got a new computer at work three weeks ago.  They made the switch a little after 11am on Tuesday.  How do I know this?  Well, there's a radio show on WFMU called Garbage Time that airs from 9am-12noon on Tuesdays and every week at 11am the DJ plays "Heavy Metal" by Don Felder and that's what was playing when the IT guy came to make the switch.  He happened to like the song so he waited until it was over to shut down my old machine and install the new one.  The FM reception for WFMU is pretty much non-existent in the building where I work so I listen via the Internet even though I can see Jersey City which is where the station is located from some windows on the floor where I spend my days.  So now every week when I hear "Heavy Metal" I'm reminded that another week of my career has come and gone, I'm that much closer to retiring and everything else that comes with getting older.

Just under 60 degrees and raining on Memorial Day. I made an admittedly tasteless joke on social media yesterday and in return was reminded how old I was.  Under "R.I.P. Gregg Allman" I posted this photo thinking people would get the joke. Naturally the first comment was "Isn't that Sonny Bono"?  Well, yeah, it is and the joke is that Cher left Sonny and married Gregg and made a record that's not even as well regarded as Sonny and Cher records.  Sometimes I overestimate the pop culture literacy of the few people who haven't unfollowed me on social media but then again I don't know who the hell most of the "stars" that young folks worship are so let's call it a push.

Low 70s and mostly sunny but still unpleasantly humid. When I was in college I remember reading a story somewhere about a human cannonball.  I forget the guy's name but at the time he was approaching retirement age (whatever age that is for human cannonballs, there was no number given) but he wondered if he could give it up.  See, he was really good at his job of being a human cannonball and the crowds loved him and he loved the adulation of the crowds.  When he wasn't being a human cannonball nobody knew who he was or particularly cared about him.  Even his coworkers at the circus didn't really care about him.  They didn't dislike him or treat him poorly exactly but they didn't go out of their way to socialize with him or even check on how he was feeling every night after he did his act.  However when he was human cannonball all eyes were on him and for a few moments he was the center of and the most beloved thing in his universe. Being a human cannonb...

Low 70s and treading that line between damp and humid. Greenmarket shopping and some food prep today.   The lack of sun is relaxing.   No bright light insisting that I do something.   In the absence of pressure I get more done.  Funny how that works.

Mid 70s and variable.  Already had a rain shower, bright sunshine and now we have clouds. More signs of aging in my small group of city-working friends.   Everyone who I would have had a few drinks (or more) with on this holiday weekend Friday opted to just bolt the city early.  So I opted to not go into the office and instead am working from my dining room table.  Win?  Maybe.  Certainly a healthier choice at my age though it's rare that a good story comes out of working from home.  The pre-holiday pub crawls on the other hand, well, that's something else, something that I'll save for a day when there's nothing else to talk about.  Meanwhile the wind is picking up and the traffic on my block is increasing, the escape is on, millions moving from one place to another in the hope of finding whatever's missing somewhere else.  Try checking that last place you left it maybe.

High 50s with frequent heavy rains, fog when it isn't raining. I see today is the 40th anniversary of the release of Star Wars.  The days do run away like horses over the hills as the saying goes.  I'd love to be able to write something about how that movie was life-changing blah blah blah but the reality is I was a 10 year old kid who was already predisposed to like space operas by being raised on a diet of Star Trek, cheesy Japanese monster movies (sorry, "kaiju" as the kids say today) and my dad's handed-down sci-fi pulp novels that he read until he died.  So while Star Wars may have been the entry point for millions into the world of the space opera it was just another well-loved entry in the genre for me.  Don't get me wrong, I loved it and saw each of the first three movies multiple times in the theater.  I even did something rare for me for Return of the Jedi which was to cut out of high school and head over to the theater for an afternoon showing. ...

High 60s and mostly cloudy. What kind of person thinks it's OK to grab a wad of paper towels in a bathroom dispenser with a wet hand and then leave some of the still-wet towels hanging from the dispenser?  Nobody wants your hand backwash, pal.  Thank heaven for wall-mounted hand sanitizer dispensers.  It's just another symptom of our self-absorbed society.  Yesterday I had not one but two people walk into my back while I was waiting for the light to change as they were absorbed in their screens and ear buds while walking up sixth avenue.  They both said "excuse me" though what they should have said is "thank you" because presumably had they not had me for a safety rail they would've gone straight into traffic and been killed. Hmm.  Been killed. Note to self:  next time remember to just get out of the way.

Mid 60's and mostly sunny. Entertainment television is bereft of ideas.  Scripted shows are mostly ripoffs and reboots (there are a few quality exceptions, yes, yes I know) and competition shows have spawned the creepiest, ugliest, chill-inducing versions of themselves:  the kiddie versions.  What the hell though right?  Nobody is forcing the parents of America (and around the world) to shove their progeny in front of the camera for a buck.  So I'm predicting that it's only a matter of time before we cross that final Rubicon of bad taste:  Ladies, gentlemen and people across the gender spectrum I give you The Bachelor:  Kids Edition! Now before you get the Internet cops after me and think I'm suggesting some sort of depraved act I will say to you I am certainly not.  However I am aware that in certain cultures arranged marriages are still a thing.  So how long before that thing becomes a competition show?  Think that's too tasteless?...

High 50's, rain on and off all day. When people say "I missed you at..." whatever I tend to respond with "Well aim better next time".  It almost never fails to confuse and also is handy as it stops the conversation from going in any sort of uncomfortable direction.  Nobody actually "misses me" at anything.  There's one of two reasons they're saying that:  they're either trying to make me feel guilty about some obligation that I no longer feel or they're filling conversational space with genial blather.  If people continue that line of inquiry after that little joke of mine I just crank up the awkward factor by following their line of though with "Oh, how would I have made (event) better?"  or "Can you be specific about what exactly you missed about me?"  I don't feel bad at all about this because those are two questions I can answer if I ever do say that I "missed someone" at something and those answe...

Sunny and mid 60s today. Fun family weekend.   No deep thoughts or observations to share, just a few days that made me feel graceful and a little wistful.   None of us are getting any younger.   Hell, the guy who wrote the song that is the title of this post just turned 73.  Enjoy it all while you can.  

Just about 90 degrees and mostly sunny. A few new (to me) records that have caught my ear: Goths by the Mountain Goats (no surprise, he/they are one of my favorite bands).   DAMN by Kendrick Lamar which I'm still processing but the textures and storytelling are amazing. Coco Hames (eponymous), catchy as hell (whatever that means but you know what I mean) I n The Darkness of my Night by Sunshine and the Rain, more pure pop goodness. It's Friday when the new records come out nowawadys (used to be Tuesday)!  No deep thinking today.

Low 90s and sunny.  Officially time for me to cower in air conditioned rooms until the heat subsides. Got a second monitor at work today which officially makes me this guy ..  Though the real reason I got it is to stream a few channels that I don't have access to via my limited office cable.  Other than that I found it too distracting and have the second screen shut down right now.  Fortunately there are very few people in the office today owing to the upfront week so nobody will discover my dishonesty. Jean Shepherd had it right, we're all just faking it and waiting for the indescribable relief when we finally get that hand on the shoulder and the "OK pal, come on, we gotcha, we figured it out.  You can stop pretending".

High 80s and sunny.  Not my kind of weather. Got the new Mountain Goats CD in the mail yesterday.  Brought it to work figuring I'd listen on my computer....except I just got a new one and they don't have built-in CD drives anymore.  Progress!  So now I'll just wait for it to arrive on Spotify.  Which is fine because I don't mind giving the band the (very tiny but greater than zero) extra money.  I thought that was a metaphor for something but I can't figure out what it is. Saw a kid trying to skateboard up 6th avenue until the traffic and confusion became overwhelming and she decided to pick up her board and walk on the sidewalk.  I'm sure that's a metaphor for something but I'm not coming up with what it is. I was trying to think of something that I saw in the last few days that may have been a metaphor for something but I couldn't come up with anything.  I bet that's a metaphor for something but I can't imagine what. The reason I wa...

High 70's and sunny.  From heat to air conditioning in two days. I just got an e-mail from an old friend who reaches out from time to time usually about topics we shared an interest in two or three decades ago.  I don't see this friend that much nowadays but when I do it's always strange.  Some people just seem to freeze themselves in time and act the same way and have exactly the same interests as they did when they were a very young adult.   This friend was a few years younger than me and he still talks to me as though I am say, 25 and he is 21.  On the odd chance that he was just staying on comfortable ground because we only run into each other a few times a year on public transit I have tried to bring up more recent events or talk about contemporary things but he always brings it back to the stuff we had in common in 19__ .  The e-mails are the same, talking about sports or the Howard Stern show like no time has passed and for the record I don't have ...

Mid 60s and mostly sunny.  Supposed to get hot by Wednesday.  There goes spring, This week is a week where people at work come to NY from all over the country (well, mainly Southern California).  Lot's of how you doings and other small talk.  I'm able to keep that to a minimum at this point in my life because I learned a very valuable lesson:  if there's anything quirky or interesting about you don't let casual acquaintances (which is what 99% of co-workers are at this point in my life - at my age and rank you don't make many new real-life friends, you just have those that you made in your 20's and early 30s before you had to manage a lot of people) know about it.  If you do let them know you're giving them what I call the "conversational hook" which is what happens when the person trying to make small talk with you begins interviewing you about said thing or quirk and you wind up answering so many damn questions about it you never learn anything...

Sunny,  mid 60s. It's mother's day so my thoughts wander to where the remains that housed her are interred, that is Moravian Cemetery.  Is it odd to want to take a tour of the place where you stored your parents physical remains?   This June 4 tour sounds pretty neat to me .  I often mention that my parents are buried in the same general location as a pencil magnate which generally induces people to suddenly remember an appointment that they're late for or at least change the subject. People are so weird sometimes.

Mid 50s, raining heavily with coastal flooding. I wrote this seven years ago and it doesn't seem likely I can do better so there's a rerun for you all.

Just about 60 degrees,  cloudy. Unfocused today.   It's my late mother's birthday tomorrow,  found something I put here several years ago that's better than anything I'll come up with today.  Will probably repost tomorrow.  

Hovering around 60, was sunny this morning, cloudier now. The middle of a month is from the 10th to the 20th, right?  I have never seen the early, middle and late segments of a month defined anywhere (mainly because I never looked, I suspect) but I'm figuring "early" = 1-10, "middle" = 10-20 and "late" = 20th on.  Some will point out that in some months that makes "late' the longest segment and I'm fine with that.  It's always later than you think. So it's mid-May, not particularly warm and I already got the first good whiff of midtown police horse excrement.  Normally you don't catch that until it gets well above 70 degrees for a few days so I'm wondering what's causing it.  Did the horse eat something particularly ripe?  Did it get into a trash can outside a Taco Bell, or even a co mbination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell ? I always have more questions than answers but such is life, no?

Low 60s, mixture of sun and clouds. Pretty busy workday which I don't really feel like documenting here.  That's not what this is for.  After all these years I still don't know what this in fact IS for but I know what it's not for.  So sooner or later I'll eliminate all the things it isn't for and then I'll know and it will be a glorious day because then I can start working on whatever it is.  Truly that will be grand, or maybe whatever it is isn't grand, maybe it's small but still important.  Is small but still important still grand? I have questions.  Many, many questions.

High 50's, mostly sunny. Another weird thing about sports is the notion of congratulating a fan because their team performed well.  It irks and confuses me and I'm though of as a bad sports the way in which I typically react to this which is to say "Thanks, but I had nothing to do with it".  This in turn confuses the person who has just congratulated me.  I assure them that I am pleased with the result but had nothing to do with the outcome.  At this point the other person usually just stares at me like I'm some sort of weirdo and walks away or alternately throws their hands up and says something like "there's no making you happy!" It is a strange thing that has no analogue in the consumption of other forms of entertainment.  I'll wager that almost nobody has been involved in one of the following exchanges: "Hey, you saw Springsteen on Friday right?" "Yeah, he was great" "Well I know you're a big fan so congra...

Unseasonably cool (50s) but sunny. Guy in the office next to mine is ranting about how all the underlying stats of the Rangers-Senators playoff series indicate that the Rangers should have won already.  This is an example of something I've observed among under-40 sports fans over the last few years:  the use of the extraordinary amount of data we now have available as fans to obscure the simple truth of who won or lost a big game or a championship or a playoff series. When Leicester City won the English Premier League soccer title last year it was very fashionable among a certain (young, male) type of soccer fan to deride their remarkable accomplishment by pointing out that Tottenham  had better "underlying statistics" and therefore was the "better team".  This, my friends, is another manifestation of the tendency of 21st century humanity to deny facts and instead craft their own version of reality cobbled together out of cherry picked bits of information.  ...

High 50's and Biblical rains here in NYC. It's so bad that I walked a half an avenue to get lunch and by the time I got back I was very, very grateful for the spare pants and socks I keep at the office.  I can only imagine how much wetter I would have been if I hadn't been smart enough to duck down the subway across the street from the building where I work and cut through the station into the underground entrance.  The water was cascading down the stairs like a dam had burst somewhere, that's not something you normally see in midtown Manhattan. The reason for the half-avenue walk was because due to Progress or Economics or whatever all the good delis within a few doors of my office have closed as the Disneyfication of Times Square continues and spreads like a gentrifying rash.  Why In My Day, etc. The reason I keep saying "half avenue" instead of "half a block" is because it was a West to East and East to West return trip as opposed to North-S...

Low 60s and sunny.  Rain is supposed to be on the way though. Nothing particularly eventful happened to me so far today.  I'll take it.

Low 60s and sunny. For the record the Stallone-Canelo Tecate commercial where Stallone punches a beehive and then has a weird exchange with Canelo over a steak that winds up getting thrown on a grill is very, very odd.  Then again maybe it's supposed to sell beer to millennial Hispanics and I don't fall into either category.  Still it's nice to live in a time where when you want to make an inane observation about an inconsequential piece of advertising you can find the link to it in a matter of seconds, no?  Excelsior, fellow humans of the 21st century!

Mid 70s and sunny.  The rain that was predicted for today over the weekend didn't materialize. Not a lot of inspiration filtering through the window these last few days unless you count petty workaday annoyances and isn't that what social media is for?  Let's all vent by airing vaguely worded grievances about people who will never read them or who have no idea what you're talking about. I will be clear on one matter:  it's asparagus season baby!  So don't stand next to me at the urinal!

70 and sunny after an overcast morning. It's May Day, Vappu and Loyalty Day today.  That last one was an invention of the United States government during the Red Scares of the 20th century.  Fortunately we Americans have evolved beyond being uneducated paranoid xenophobes who worship the trappings of freedom and not the ideal itself.  Wait, sorry what year is this again?  Never mind.