Handbill Handout

I had a toe amputated not too long ago.  Not really a huge deal nowadays with modern medical science being what it is.  The toe just got sicker quicker than the rest of me has to this point and was just about dead.  It had to be cut off so it didn't take the rest of me with it regardless of which parts of the rest of me might have been curious about the process.   In one of my follow up checkups I asked what they do with the bits they cut off of or out of people.  I figured they burned them.  The doctor said, very cheerfully given the subject matter at hand I might add, that "First it goes to Pathology and they do what they have to do and then yes, it gets incinerated.  So, a little bit of you is already in Heaven".   A little bit of me is already in Heaven? How is it that a dead toe qualifies entry into Heaven?  I don't recall the toe being a particularly virtuous toe.  It never told me that it had accepted Jesus Christ as its savior, or whatever declarations t

 I went to have blood taken out of my arm this morning so the medical-industrial complex could tell me what else is wrong with me and sell me pills to fix it or control it.  I do this quarterly and so far I haven't died so it must be working.  Therefore, I keep doing it.   I was walking out of the blood taking room (Room 2, my favorite room at this facility because it usually houses a phlebotomist who gets what is needed without bruising my arm too badly) and a woman in the hallway had a clipboard from which she was about to read the next name.  She paused and said to everyone in particular "Manny Cotta?  Is that a real name?"  

 I have a talking coffee cup.  No, that's a lie.  A clever headline, clickbait.  I have a coffee cup that squeaks and hisses.  It doesn't actually talk.  It just makes noises that if they were louder might remind me of the radiators in the house I lived in for the first couple decades of my life but they aren't louder so they don't, or maybe they did anyway now that I mention it.  The cup came from WFMU, so it's probably appropriate that it makes odd noises.  The noises are because it's supposed to be an insulated mug, like a Thermos or as the English call it a vacuum flask.  Except the seal between the two layers was breached and when the cup gets washed water gets in what should be the vacuum.   Then when you put hot liquid in the cup the heat or the pressure or some combination thereof forces out the water and some of the air from the vacuum part.  It just squeaks and hisses and sounds like a hungry stomach all the time while you're trying to drink.   It