Waiting For Godot or the Staten Island Ferry, Whichever Comes First
Scene: 2 people sitting on a bench near the slip 2 doors in the Whitehall street ferry terminal. One is 50 something construction worker, the other a 30 something male dressed in business casual attire and wearing white ear buds
30: Is this the door for the next boat?
50: Yeah, that's what they said.
30: All the renovations they do and they can't even put up a sign where the next boat is going to be. I remember in the old terminal they had "Next Boat" signs. They'd light up, and you knew where to stand; now you got nuthin.
50 Yeah well look they do all these renovations and they can't even keep the pigeons out. I mean look at the feet on those things. They ain't right. They're diseased. But you can't touch 'em or they'll lock you up
30: Yeah
50: Look at that one over there. His feet are all messed up and he's just sittin' there. But try to take a kick at him and they'll put you away.
(Bird suddenly flies to far side of terminal)
50: Now he gets outta the way. But they're still sick. They're full of disease. They're like rats. They build this terminal with all these ledges and the birds crap all over them. They wonder why people get sick on these boats. It's like those goddamn turkeys.
30: Turkeys?
50: Turkeys. They got tons of 'em down in Great Kills. Some poor guy, they crap all over his yard where his kids play and he goes out to try to get rid of 'em with a BB gun and they lock him up.
30: Really?
50: Yeah, one of his goddamn liberal neighbors turned him right in, so now he's in jail. Those animal rights people will come after you for anything. He tells the cops "What am I supposed ta do here? My kids, I gotta keep 'em in the house. They can't play or nothin' 'cause I got bird crap all over my yard. Who's comin' to clean this stuff up? " They don't care, they just lock him up. They should categorize them turkeys as vermin and people could take care of 'em. Instead the poor bastards got crap all over their yards and they can't do nuthin' about it. You can't touch the stupid birds.
30: Reminds me of one time I was down in Florida and I was cleaning a tarp and there's snails and bugs and everything on it but I turn it over and there's a rattlesnake skin, a whole one stuck to it.
50: Holy Christ! What didja do?
30: I just kept right on cleanin'.
50: But you knew he had to be around there somewhere.
30: Yeah, but I figured I'd see him.
50: Yeah, and if you did anything and they caught you, they'd lock you right up!
(Pause. 30 something looks down at his copy of the NY Post)
30: Shame about that crane.
50: Yeah, well, they was extendin' it and the comearound broke. That's what they call that. A comearound.
30: You work in construction?
50 : Yeah, I'm over there at the Freedom Tower.
30: Hey, you never hear anything about that anymore. I mean, it used t'be in all the papers and stuff but it just went away. What's goin' on over there?
50: Oh a lot's going on, we're diggin' 90 feet down right now and getting' everything set
30: Yeah? Hey is that wall against the river done?
50: Yeah, it's all in. Well except for a little piece, but that's no big deal. It don't matter. Once the metal frames start comin' up out of the ground you'll start seein' it in the papers. It'll be all over the place again.
30: You got those cranes over there?
50: Yeah. You gotta be careful with those when you extend 'em. The comearound see, that's like a brace and that's what broke on that one uptown. Terrible. Thank God it wasn't human error, I mean, thank God it was mechanical failure. Oh that poor engineer.
30: Yeah.
50: Yeah, he was under there for almost a whole day. Took almost a whole day to dig him out. He was dead, naturally.
(Doors to ferry open, everyone exits).
30: Is this the door for the next boat?
50: Yeah, that's what they said.
30: All the renovations they do and they can't even put up a sign where the next boat is going to be. I remember in the old terminal they had "Next Boat" signs. They'd light up, and you knew where to stand; now you got nuthin.
50 Yeah well look they do all these renovations and they can't even keep the pigeons out. I mean look at the feet on those things. They ain't right. They're diseased. But you can't touch 'em or they'll lock you up
30: Yeah
50: Look at that one over there. His feet are all messed up and he's just sittin' there. But try to take a kick at him and they'll put you away.
(Bird suddenly flies to far side of terminal)
50: Now he gets outta the way. But they're still sick. They're full of disease. They're like rats. They build this terminal with all these ledges and the birds crap all over them. They wonder why people get sick on these boats. It's like those goddamn turkeys.
30: Turkeys?
50: Turkeys. They got tons of 'em down in Great Kills. Some poor guy, they crap all over his yard where his kids play and he goes out to try to get rid of 'em with a BB gun and they lock him up.
30: Really?
50: Yeah, one of his goddamn liberal neighbors turned him right in, so now he's in jail. Those animal rights people will come after you for anything. He tells the cops "What am I supposed ta do here? My kids, I gotta keep 'em in the house. They can't play or nothin' 'cause I got bird crap all over my yard. Who's comin' to clean this stuff up? " They don't care, they just lock him up. They should categorize them turkeys as vermin and people could take care of 'em. Instead the poor bastards got crap all over their yards and they can't do nuthin' about it. You can't touch the stupid birds.
30: Reminds me of one time I was down in Florida and I was cleaning a tarp and there's snails and bugs and everything on it but I turn it over and there's a rattlesnake skin, a whole one stuck to it.
50: Holy Christ! What didja do?
30: I just kept right on cleanin'.
50: But you knew he had to be around there somewhere.
30: Yeah, but I figured I'd see him.
50: Yeah, and if you did anything and they caught you, they'd lock you right up!
(Pause. 30 something looks down at his copy of the NY Post)
30: Shame about that crane.
50: Yeah, well, they was extendin' it and the comearound broke. That's what they call that. A comearound.
30: You work in construction?
50 : Yeah, I'm over there at the Freedom Tower.
30: Hey, you never hear anything about that anymore. I mean, it used t'be in all the papers and stuff but it just went away. What's goin' on over there?
50: Oh a lot's going on, we're diggin' 90 feet down right now and getting' everything set
30: Yeah? Hey is that wall against the river done?
50: Yeah, it's all in. Well except for a little piece, but that's no big deal. It don't matter. Once the metal frames start comin' up out of the ground you'll start seein' it in the papers. It'll be all over the place again.
30: You got those cranes over there?
50: Yeah. You gotta be careful with those when you extend 'em. The comearound see, that's like a brace and that's what broke on that one uptown. Terrible. Thank God it wasn't human error, I mean, thank God it was mechanical failure. Oh that poor engineer.
30: Yeah.
50: Yeah, he was under there for almost a whole day. Took almost a whole day to dig him out. He was dead, naturally.
(Doors to ferry open, everyone exits).
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