I was maimed by rock and roll

There’s nothing like writing a bunch of tips and not being able to follow them and winding up in pain because of it.

But before I complain, let me say the Bob and the band were amazing last night. Absolutely incredible. I’d say a good chunk of the crowd was my age or older but regardless of that the band hit a run toward the end of the main set climaxing with the Husker Du classics “Celebrated Summer” straight into “Divide and Conquer” (a song I’d never heard live) and suddenly it was 1987 with people pogoing and chunk of the crowd in the center surging toward the stage. Funny seeing so many balding heads in a crowd like that. Even Bob glanced down at the “pit” for a minute during his solo and laughed. An old fart with a grey beard who could still bring it better than most of the bands that owe him their sound today.

Jason Narducy was terrific on bass and sang the strongest backing vocals I’ve ever heard any collaborator of Bob’s sing on stage. The-dude-who-was-a-last-minute-fill-in-for-Brendan-Canty was very solid, the runway for the jet-engine sonic blast the rest of the band turned out. And Richard Morel’s keyboards were well-integrated into the mix this time so I can’t make my “he’s the Linda McCartney of Bob’s band” joke anymore.

So that’s all the good news. Here’s where I broke the rules and got hurt:

1. Due to extreme crowding at Heartland Brewery, I wound up having only 2 beers pre-show. The crowds in all the bars surrounding that square were so bad until 8pm I wound up sitting in the Heart of Darkness nursing a shake for a half hour following a productive trip to Barnes & Noble where I read about how to make homemade pancetta. The Mrs. says she’ll be making hanging space in the laundry room soon. The consequences of insufficient pre-buzz? A whole lot more money dropped on beer at the venue (although at least it was Brooklyn IPA and Guinness).

2. While I had some idea of the setlist, I didn’t have a complete list so I had no idea when to whiz. Fortunately I was so immersed in sound nothing urgent happened and I was able to get in and out of the can during the encore break

3. I did not sufficiently avoid “dad’s night out” types or couples, but they didn’t get close enough to do damage. Two “DNO” guys provided a lot of entertainment as they were short, pudgy dudes with hairlines behind their ears who at first were doing the “hands in the air like you just don’t care” clap during every freakin’ song and then were doing the white-man air guitar shuffle. However 2/3 of the way through they became angry at a couple in front of them because a guy had put his girl on his shoulders. One of the DNO’s feigned going up to the guy and punching him in the back of the head and the other grabbed him and a heated argument ensued, followed by a couple songs of sulking by “Punchy DNO” alleviated by the other DNO bringing Punchy a fresh beer (which of course led to an “I love you man” hug).

My reaction to the girl on the shoulders was to yell “Take off your top, Bob won’t care!” but it was lost on a crashing wave of guitar noise.

4. I failed to hydrate during the show because I wasn’t paying 5 bucks for a Kirkland water. While I avoided leg cramps, I did wake up with a dehydration headache and a dry, painful throat. Not good.

Oh yeah, and I didn't wear ear plugs either, but I kind of like the soft way New York sounds when you walk out of a loud concert. It sounds like you're hearing the whole world through a pillow. It's surreal. Worth the slight ringing I'll have in my left ear all day today.

So here I sit with ringing ear, throbbing knee, cobwebbed head, scratchy throat and the most boring entry I’ve written on this blog to date.

Moral: If you’re gonna give advice, you should take it first.

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