Boxed In
I am at war with the office cleaning lady.
A week ago I received an item in a rectangular UPS box. The box measured roughly 18”x12”x4”. So it is not a huge box. It is not a heavy box. It is made of cardboard. Therefore, I believe it can be put into the paper recycling can.
And there’s the problem.
I have tried laying the box on top of my recycling can. I have tried jamming it into the recycling can. Each night I leave in the hope that the box will be taken away. Each morning I return and find the box on the floor next to the can. When it was on top, sure, maybe whoever emptied the trash put it aside to dump the paper out and forgot it. However once I put it in the can there was no mistaking my intent. It was my way of saying “This, dear blue-smocked lady of undetermined Eastern European descent, is paper garbage. You need to take this away to wherever you put all of our paper garbage. I am not a bad man, one of those idiots who tosses his empty soda cans into the blue paper recycling cans and says “what, it’s for all kinds of recycling, right? F’em, let them separate it out.” No, Ms. Badenov, I carry any empty beverage containers to the kitchen recycling cans where they belong. So why, why my dear Natasha do you scorn my empty box? Why do you not take it to that better place, wherever that place is?”
She still ignored it.
I have had enough.
Today, I have decided not only to put the box back into the paper recycling can but I am filling the box WITH all of my other paper recycling. Last week’s reports, today’s paper, all of it. The message could not be clearer . How will she get around it now?. Or will she seek revenge, smacking stuff off my desk as all the cleaning ladies often have over the years when they dust. I knew a guy who would lock his office so the cleaning people couldn’t get in. He just put his trash and paper cans outside the office door when he left at night. That’s not a bad idea I guess, except I have no idea where the key to my office door is. And really, I don’t keep anything of personal value in the 8 foot by 8 foot windowless closet where I spend my weekdays. However she could screw up the arrangement of folders that I keep on my desk for quick reference . Hmmmm..
Maybe I’ll stuff the box in someone else’s recycling can after hours instead. You never know what lengths people will go to for revenge in a situation like this.
A week ago I received an item in a rectangular UPS box. The box measured roughly 18”x12”x4”. So it is not a huge box. It is not a heavy box. It is made of cardboard. Therefore, I believe it can be put into the paper recycling can.
And there’s the problem.
I have tried laying the box on top of my recycling can. I have tried jamming it into the recycling can. Each night I leave in the hope that the box will be taken away. Each morning I return and find the box on the floor next to the can. When it was on top, sure, maybe whoever emptied the trash put it aside to dump the paper out and forgot it. However once I put it in the can there was no mistaking my intent. It was my way of saying “This, dear blue-smocked lady of undetermined Eastern European descent, is paper garbage. You need to take this away to wherever you put all of our paper garbage. I am not a bad man, one of those idiots who tosses his empty soda cans into the blue paper recycling cans and says “what, it’s for all kinds of recycling, right? F’em, let them separate it out.” No, Ms. Badenov, I carry any empty beverage containers to the kitchen recycling cans where they belong. So why, why my dear Natasha do you scorn my empty box? Why do you not take it to that better place, wherever that place is?”
She still ignored it.
I have had enough.
Today, I have decided not only to put the box back into the paper recycling can but I am filling the box WITH all of my other paper recycling. Last week’s reports, today’s paper, all of it. The message could not be clearer . How will she get around it now?. Or will she seek revenge, smacking stuff off my desk as all the cleaning ladies often have over the years when they dust. I knew a guy who would lock his office so the cleaning people couldn’t get in. He just put his trash and paper cans outside the office door when he left at night. That’s not a bad idea I guess, except I have no idea where the key to my office door is. And really, I don’t keep anything of personal value in the 8 foot by 8 foot windowless closet where I spend my weekdays. However she could screw up the arrangement of folders that I keep on my desk for quick reference . Hmmmm..
Maybe I’ll stuff the box in someone else’s recycling can after hours instead. You never know what lengths people will go to for revenge in a situation like this.
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