Small Talk
Parental Warning: Grown-up themes and explicit language are in this post. If you’re not ready to pretend you’re a grown-up like the rest of us do or if you find language that real people use every day offensive you should click to something else right now.
I am in the men’s room making my “should’ve thought of that before you got on the subway” pre-departure pit stop when a colleague walks in to do the same thing.
“How’s it going?” he asked.
“In a pretty steady stream, it seems” I said.
Laughter ensued. I must be getting better at the inane conversation thing. The positivism wouldn’t last though. We got to chatting about a couple of issues facing the industry and the conversation continued down the elevator, through the lobby and onto the street.
And then it happened.
Have you ever been on your way someplace and you run into a co-worker or casual acquaintance and you realize you’re both going to the same subway station or deli or whatever and you know, you just know you’re going to run out of “how’s the weather?” chatter before you get there? Well that’s what happened here. We’re in the lobby and now we’re out the door heading down the block and that’s it. The topic is exhausted.
Disaster looms.
Fortunately, we both took steps to avoid the social iceberg in the water ahead. He suddenly whipped out the Blackberry like an important message was coming in. “Heading downtown to meet some friends” he said while making that "I'm reading something very important" face that Blackberry-addicts have down and scrolling furiously.
“Oh yeah, anywhere good?”
“Don’t know yet.”
However, this exchange bought me enough time to come up with my escape line.
“Ah, well, gotta stop in at this store and grab a beer for the ferry ride home. See ya!”
“Good move, gotta be cheaper than what they have on board! Bye!”
Whew! That was a close one. It’s amazing more of us don’t crack under the stress in the urban office world. I mean, it’s not just co-workers or acquaintances that can throw a dose of stress in your life. Total strangers can make you feel a whole range of negative emotions. I’m not talking about the usual annoyances like slow walking tourists staring up at buildings or master-of-the-universe jackoff types yammering into their Bluetooths and not watching where they’re walking as they kick you in the ankle or step on your foot. I’m talking about other emotions.
Guilt, for example.
I was walking west through Times Square a few weeks back. It was a fine spring afternoon so the streets were jammed with people. I looked up and saw a sullen-faced teenage boy weaving through the crowd on rollerblades and using ski poles to propel himself. What a bastard, I thought, he’s a menace to pedestrians. I hope he falls and cracks his head open. At that point the crowd parted and I saw that the kid was using the poles for a reason.
He only had one leg.
So naturally I went through the rest of my day feeling like a complete shit. You know, the poor kid looked like he was maybe 15, 16 and he had already gone through losing a leg and rehabbed himself to the point where he could skate on it to get around and here I am wishing evil on him. I felt like the biggest jerk in the world. See how dangerous just walking around the street is to your psyche?
When stuff like that gets me down I take solace in the words of that guy who just got flung up on the roof: “We're all fucked. It helps to remember that.” So long, George. See you next to the chimney.
I am in the men’s room making my “should’ve thought of that before you got on the subway” pre-departure pit stop when a colleague walks in to do the same thing.
“How’s it going?” he asked.
“In a pretty steady stream, it seems” I said.
Laughter ensued. I must be getting better at the inane conversation thing. The positivism wouldn’t last though. We got to chatting about a couple of issues facing the industry and the conversation continued down the elevator, through the lobby and onto the street.
And then it happened.
Have you ever been on your way someplace and you run into a co-worker or casual acquaintance and you realize you’re both going to the same subway station or deli or whatever and you know, you just know you’re going to run out of “how’s the weather?” chatter before you get there? Well that’s what happened here. We’re in the lobby and now we’re out the door heading down the block and that’s it. The topic is exhausted.
Disaster looms.
Fortunately, we both took steps to avoid the social iceberg in the water ahead. He suddenly whipped out the Blackberry like an important message was coming in. “Heading downtown to meet some friends” he said while making that "I'm reading something very important" face that Blackberry-addicts have down and scrolling furiously.
“Oh yeah, anywhere good?”
“Don’t know yet.”
However, this exchange bought me enough time to come up with my escape line.
“Ah, well, gotta stop in at this store and grab a beer for the ferry ride home. See ya!”
“Good move, gotta be cheaper than what they have on board! Bye!”
Whew! That was a close one. It’s amazing more of us don’t crack under the stress in the urban office world. I mean, it’s not just co-workers or acquaintances that can throw a dose of stress in your life. Total strangers can make you feel a whole range of negative emotions. I’m not talking about the usual annoyances like slow walking tourists staring up at buildings or master-of-the-universe jackoff types yammering into their Bluetooths and not watching where they’re walking as they kick you in the ankle or step on your foot. I’m talking about other emotions.
Guilt, for example.
I was walking west through Times Square a few weeks back. It was a fine spring afternoon so the streets were jammed with people. I looked up and saw a sullen-faced teenage boy weaving through the crowd on rollerblades and using ski poles to propel himself. What a bastard, I thought, he’s a menace to pedestrians. I hope he falls and cracks his head open. At that point the crowd parted and I saw that the kid was using the poles for a reason.
He only had one leg.
So naturally I went through the rest of my day feeling like a complete shit. You know, the poor kid looked like he was maybe 15, 16 and he had already gone through losing a leg and rehabbed himself to the point where he could skate on it to get around and here I am wishing evil on him. I felt like the biggest jerk in the world. See how dangerous just walking around the street is to your psyche?
When stuff like that gets me down I take solace in the words of that guy who just got flung up on the roof: “We're all fucked. It helps to remember that.” So long, George. See you next to the chimney.
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