Life is a Holiday
Today is National Doughnut Day. National Doughnut Day was started in 1938 as a fundraiser for the Salvation Army. Of course, like every good American holiday it has evolved (devolved?) into a bargain hunting exercise. Today Krispy Kremes will be giving away free donuts to better refocus the day on commerce. Really, that’s what we want here in America. More excuses to shop.
Consider what happened to President’s Day (remember when Lincoln and Washington had separate birthdays?) and Memorial Day. There is no finer time then those holidays to go furniture shopping or buy a car. Reflect on the history of our country or honor our war dead? Nah, none for us thanks. That futon sure looks like a bargain though.
I suppose it has to be this way though. Practically every day, week or month is commemorating something so when every day is a holiday than nothing really is. The word “holiday” used in this context is somewhat telling; remember it came into being as a contraction of the words “holy” and “day” to designate days of particular religious significance. Of course, “holy day” is wholly appropriate for a holiday celebrating doughnuts so I suppose we’re all in the clear there.
I decided to look around and see what other highly significant celebrations might be taking place this month so as not to miss out on any important celebrations that any True American Man might use as an excuse to throw a party or spend some dough. My research revealed that June is potty training awareness month. What kind of ceremonies can we have to celebrate this illustrious time? Perhaps some kind of maypole-like dance is in order except it should rotate around the world’s largest toilet which is located, appropriately enough, in Florida.
If you’re looking for something to do after eating your donut and using the facility, today is National yo-yo day. Well, either today or June 10 depending on where you look on the web. Now there’s a holiday that we can definitively say will never “go commercial” since it was never anything but to begin with. Reminds me of the famed “Be sure to drink more Ovaltine” scene in A Christmas Story.
Should you build up a thirst from flipping your yo-yo, there’s always Iced Tea day (June 10) or Ice Cream Soda Day (June 20). Of course the biggie around the Northern Hemisphere in June is the Summer Solstice, properly celebrated for millennia by feasting and drinking and screwing. They haven’t figured out a way to commercialize that one yet though I supposed it’s not necessary since you have to buy the food and drink somewhere, right? Besides, the Christians got in on it and ruined everything by making “John the Baptist Day” right around the solstice much in the same way that they stuck Christmas right next to the Winter Solstice. Well, they had to sell their religion to the pagans somehow, so I guess holidays always have been about one kind of marketing or the other.
Before I go, I’d like to remind everyone of one other important commemoration. 2008 has been declared the International Year of the Potato. The lowly spud has come a long way since I was a kid. Dad used to say if you didn’t clean your ears “potatoes would start growing in them”. Then again, Dad said a lot of weird crap. Guess that’s where I got it from. Which reminds me: Happy Fathers Day to all that qualify. Make sure someone gets out there and spends some bucks on you. The economy needs it!
Consider what happened to President’s Day (remember when Lincoln and Washington had separate birthdays?) and Memorial Day. There is no finer time then those holidays to go furniture shopping or buy a car. Reflect on the history of our country or honor our war dead? Nah, none for us thanks. That futon sure looks like a bargain though.
I suppose it has to be this way though. Practically every day, week or month is commemorating something so when every day is a holiday than nothing really is. The word “holiday” used in this context is somewhat telling; remember it came into being as a contraction of the words “holy” and “day” to designate days of particular religious significance. Of course, “holy day” is wholly appropriate for a holiday celebrating doughnuts so I suppose we’re all in the clear there.
I decided to look around and see what other highly significant celebrations might be taking place this month so as not to miss out on any important celebrations that any True American Man might use as an excuse to throw a party or spend some dough. My research revealed that June is potty training awareness month. What kind of ceremonies can we have to celebrate this illustrious time? Perhaps some kind of maypole-like dance is in order except it should rotate around the world’s largest toilet which is located, appropriately enough, in Florida.
If you’re looking for something to do after eating your donut and using the facility, today is National yo-yo day. Well, either today or June 10 depending on where you look on the web. Now there’s a holiday that we can definitively say will never “go commercial” since it was never anything but to begin with. Reminds me of the famed “Be sure to drink more Ovaltine” scene in A Christmas Story.
Should you build up a thirst from flipping your yo-yo, there’s always Iced Tea day (June 10) or Ice Cream Soda Day (June 20). Of course the biggie around the Northern Hemisphere in June is the Summer Solstice, properly celebrated for millennia by feasting and drinking and screwing. They haven’t figured out a way to commercialize that one yet though I supposed it’s not necessary since you have to buy the food and drink somewhere, right? Besides, the Christians got in on it and ruined everything by making “John the Baptist Day” right around the solstice much in the same way that they stuck Christmas right next to the Winter Solstice. Well, they had to sell their religion to the pagans somehow, so I guess holidays always have been about one kind of marketing or the other.
Before I go, I’d like to remind everyone of one other important commemoration. 2008 has been declared the International Year of the Potato. The lowly spud has come a long way since I was a kid. Dad used to say if you didn’t clean your ears “potatoes would start growing in them”. Then again, Dad said a lot of weird crap. Guess that’s where I got it from. Which reminds me: Happy Fathers Day to all that qualify. Make sure someone gets out there and spends some bucks on you. The economy needs it!
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