Basic Cultural Literacy
People of Earth, I need your help. I am a cultural illiterate.
There, I said it.
More specifically, I am television illiterate. It's not that I don't watch countless hours of TV a week. I do. The problem is it's almost all sports, food shows, travel shows or music programming. Here in America, we just had two happenings of epic cultural significance about which I was clueless. The first was the final episode of that show about the desert island and I was asking people questions about whether or not the Harlem Globetrotters came by or if the Professor finally built a boat because God knows he could build anything else out of freakin' palm trees.
Apparently, this was a different show.
Then the next night I heard some big spy show was going off the air and I started asking about whether they ever figured out the Cone of Silence and what happened to Hymie the Robot.
Again, it was the wrong show.
So tonight I have the Yankees game on and they go to rain delay and what do I do? Instead of finding some bit of True American Cultural Significance via the small screen, I go and turn off the TV and put this on.
What the hell good is THAT gonna do me when I have to make small talk on the elevator? What is wrong with me? I need to improve myself . I have said this before but I have to stop being a slacker and raise my game. Turn over a new leaf. If I want to advance my career and be an upstanding well-liked American citizen it is time to end my elitist ways. Enough with listening to some show that as I type this is analyzing the "Get Metsmerized" record.
I've gotta get going with the popular TV pronto. My peak earning years ain't gonna last forever and as an ex-boss of mine pointed out all an office job is is high school with paychecks. So what do I do? What do I watch? I need suggestions people. 'Cause right now I only have one idea.
I'm gonna start by watching that talent show on Fox.
Does Ed McMahon still host that show?
There, I said it.
More specifically, I am television illiterate. It's not that I don't watch countless hours of TV a week. I do. The problem is it's almost all sports, food shows, travel shows or music programming. Here in America, we just had two happenings of epic cultural significance about which I was clueless. The first was the final episode of that show about the desert island and I was asking people questions about whether or not the Harlem Globetrotters came by or if the Professor finally built a boat because God knows he could build anything else out of freakin' palm trees.
Apparently, this was a different show.
Then the next night I heard some big spy show was going off the air and I started asking about whether they ever figured out the Cone of Silence and what happened to Hymie the Robot.
Again, it was the wrong show.
So tonight I have the Yankees game on and they go to rain delay and what do I do? Instead of finding some bit of True American Cultural Significance via the small screen, I go and turn off the TV and put this on.
What the hell good is THAT gonna do me when I have to make small talk on the elevator? What is wrong with me? I need to improve myself . I have said this before but I have to stop being a slacker and raise my game. Turn over a new leaf. If I want to advance my career and be an upstanding well-liked American citizen it is time to end my elitist ways. Enough with listening to some show that as I type this is analyzing the "Get Metsmerized" record.
I've gotta get going with the popular TV pronto. My peak earning years ain't gonna last forever and as an ex-boss of mine pointed out all an office job is is high school with paychecks. So what do I do? What do I watch? I need suggestions people. 'Cause right now I only have one idea.
I'm gonna start by watching that talent show on Fox.
Does Ed McMahon still host that show?
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