Why Should I Have To Do All the Goddamned Work (Create Your Own Adventure)
One of my old bosses used to sit at his desk and organize M&Ms by color while he talked on the phone. No, I’m not making that up. I mean you couldn’t make that up. Well, I guess you could make it up, hypothetically, if you thought about it. And if I was a writer of style, of nuance, of "protect the innocent" and created characters based on reality instead of using reality itself I’d say he organized Skittles by color or maybe organized pretzels by size or maybe stacked Pringles or maybe, or maybe, or maybe that’s the best I can do. The best ideas I can come up with. So you choose one. Which one?
So now you’ve chosen and I can write about the man who (blanked blanks) while talking on the phone. Why not change “talked on the phone” to “held meetings”? Or “worked on spreadsheets”? Or “Surfed the Internet”? No, no, the last two won’t do. Won’t do a bit. And even “held meetings” doesn’t really work because really, who would believe that? So we have to have him blank blanks while he was on the phone. And what else does that say about a person? What sort of person do you think he is? Uh-huh, yes…..well very good. Yes, that sounds plausible.
I’ve heard that all the consumer of art owns is his or her perception of the work of art, but what I’m doing here is letting you drive the bus. You tell me. So you’ve made your observations about the man who (blanked blanks) while talking on the phone after you decided what (blank) he (blanked). Oh boy did you. And I bet it was a good one. See, this writing thing is easy! Anyone can do it! It is just like playing make-believe or dolls or whatever the kids do nowadays with their imaginations. What? Nothing? Don’t be ridiculous.
So, the man who (blanked blanks) while talking on the phone, what are you going to do with him once you’ve made observations about his character? Does he die? Does he live? Does he become rich or poor or make some trenchant social observations? Hell, do you let him get drunk or get laid? Does he even have to be a guy? I started with a guy because I am a guy and I can’t write from the perspective of a woman. I mean I could, but it would suck because it wouldn’t represent any kind of reality and god only knows some woman might accidentally stumble across this and read it and get all pissed off for me misrepresenting women. Then Blogger would ban me and then where would I be. On Wordpress? Or Tumblr for chrissake? I mean, do you know what kind of strenuous audition process I had to do to make it onto Blogger? Yeah, I’m not flushing all that work down the toilet. Nossir.
So the MWBBWTOTP, what next? Uh-huh….hmmm.mmmm….interesting. Not sure about that bit but…..oh that works nicely. Good twist. All right, looks like the main bit’s done, now, how do you wrap up? No, “to be continued” is cheesy. I’m not giving you control for more than one episode. Yes, well….yeah that’s a good idea. Ties it nicely back to the beginning. Yes, I can see him; there he is alone in his dining room. Organizing…..organizing……what? Peas? Peas are all green you dummy! Oh, you’re hurt that I called you dummy! What are you going to do, stop reading this? Go ahead and stop reading and see if I ca
So now you’ve chosen and I can write about the man who (blanked blanks) while talking on the phone. Why not change “talked on the phone” to “held meetings”? Or “worked on spreadsheets”? Or “Surfed the Internet”? No, no, the last two won’t do. Won’t do a bit. And even “held meetings” doesn’t really work because really, who would believe that? So we have to have him blank blanks while he was on the phone. And what else does that say about a person? What sort of person do you think he is? Uh-huh, yes…..well very good. Yes, that sounds plausible.
I’ve heard that all the consumer of art owns is his or her perception of the work of art, but what I’m doing here is letting you drive the bus. You tell me. So you’ve made your observations about the man who (blanked blanks) while talking on the phone after you decided what (blank) he (blanked). Oh boy did you. And I bet it was a good one. See, this writing thing is easy! Anyone can do it! It is just like playing make-believe or dolls or whatever the kids do nowadays with their imaginations. What? Nothing? Don’t be ridiculous.
So, the man who (blanked blanks) while talking on the phone, what are you going to do with him once you’ve made observations about his character? Does he die? Does he live? Does he become rich or poor or make some trenchant social observations? Hell, do you let him get drunk or get laid? Does he even have to be a guy? I started with a guy because I am a guy and I can’t write from the perspective of a woman. I mean I could, but it would suck because it wouldn’t represent any kind of reality and god only knows some woman might accidentally stumble across this and read it and get all pissed off for me misrepresenting women. Then Blogger would ban me and then where would I be. On Wordpress? Or Tumblr for chrissake? I mean, do you know what kind of strenuous audition process I had to do to make it onto Blogger? Yeah, I’m not flushing all that work down the toilet. Nossir.
So the MWBBWTOTP, what next? Uh-huh….hmmm.mmmm….interesting. Not sure about that bit but…..oh that works nicely. Good twist. All right, looks like the main bit’s done, now, how do you wrap up? No, “to be continued” is cheesy. I’m not giving you control for more than one episode. Yes, well….yeah that’s a good idea. Ties it nicely back to the beginning. Yes, I can see him; there he is alone in his dining room. Organizing…..organizing……what? Peas? Peas are all green you dummy! Oh, you’re hurt that I called you dummy! What are you going to do, stop reading this? Go ahead and stop reading and see if I ca
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