The De-Packager-Omatic 5000
Every six to nine months or so I order a few new dress shirts from J.C. Penny to replace ones that are worn, stained or otherwise no longer fit for daily use. Each time I order I marvel at the amount of packaging that goes into a single dress shirt. I have a routine down to de-package the shirts but it still takes about 3-4 minutes of work per shirt to liberate the garment and try it on.
The routine goes something like this. I set up three of our four garbage cans (there's no compostable material I'm aware of in the packing material). I remove the shirts from their plastic bags, those go in the regular garbage. Then I take the plastic thing that goes around the top button and toss that in the regular trash as well. Next out, all those pins which go into the metal/plastics recycling can (we have enough pins to open a tailor shop as it is). Finally out comes the cardboard under the collar and the larger piece of cardboard and tissue paper supporting the torso of the shirt. They go right into the paper recycling.
As I do this, I wonder how the shirt got to be packed up that way to begin with. Are there sweatshops somewhere in China with underage laborers spending hour after hour pefectly folding and pinning and wrapping these garments? I hope not, I'd hate to be a party to that however unknowingly and indirectly. No, what I prefer to think is that the process is fully or nearly fully automated. And if it is automated it would follow that you could program a machine to reverse the process.
You see where I'm going with this?
Imagine if you will a device that could be brought into the American home that de-packaged all of your consumer goods. Don't want to spend time with your shirts like I just did? Program the De-Packager-Omatic! Those impossible-to-open consumer electronics packages? Use the DPO! Still buying compact disks and DVDs instead of downloading and tired of ripping your fingernails to shreds on that black-and-white title thingy across the top of the jewel case? DPO!
Now, I'm not a mechanic or a robotics expert and I'm barely computer literate. But I know people who are some or all of those things and may have also recently stayed at a Holiday Inn Express. All I need is some venture capital, and I know by looking at various web metrics that people who read stuff on the Internet have more money than people who don't. So if you want to get in on this unique opportunity, leave your contact information in the comments.
The routine goes something like this. I set up three of our four garbage cans (there's no compostable material I'm aware of in the packing material). I remove the shirts from their plastic bags, those go in the regular garbage. Then I take the plastic thing that goes around the top button and toss that in the regular trash as well. Next out, all those pins which go into the metal/plastics recycling can (we have enough pins to open a tailor shop as it is). Finally out comes the cardboard under the collar and the larger piece of cardboard and tissue paper supporting the torso of the shirt. They go right into the paper recycling.
As I do this, I wonder how the shirt got to be packed up that way to begin with. Are there sweatshops somewhere in China with underage laborers spending hour after hour pefectly folding and pinning and wrapping these garments? I hope not, I'd hate to be a party to that however unknowingly and indirectly. No, what I prefer to think is that the process is fully or nearly fully automated. And if it is automated it would follow that you could program a machine to reverse the process.
You see where I'm going with this?
Imagine if you will a device that could be brought into the American home that de-packaged all of your consumer goods. Don't want to spend time with your shirts like I just did? Program the De-Packager-Omatic! Those impossible-to-open consumer electronics packages? Use the DPO! Still buying compact disks and DVDs instead of downloading and tired of ripping your fingernails to shreds on that black-and-white title thingy across the top of the jewel case? DPO!
Now, I'm not a mechanic or a robotics expert and I'm barely computer literate. But I know people who are some or all of those things and may have also recently stayed at a Holiday Inn Express. All I need is some venture capital, and I know by looking at various web metrics that people who read stuff on the Internet have more money than people who don't. So if you want to get in on this unique opportunity, leave your contact information in the comments.
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